Subjective Morality

Archive for the ‘Dreams’ Category

I was in a McDonald’s, and somehow worked up the nerve to ask for a job. The manager seemed only too happy to oblige, and told me to get behind the counter. Behind the counter is where I saw Sarah Tanner again. She looked horrible. There was this big, green hole on her right cheek; it looked like the skin had been eaten away. I hadn’t seen her in several years, so you can imagine my surprise. She was a weepy girl, often crying during her shifts. The manager usually comforted her.

I handled my duties like any novice McDonald’s employee; I made mistakes, accidentally gave some people the wrong drinks. One of my successes was when a guy asked for a straw and I brought a package that—due to a manufacturing error—had three straws in it, and this pleased the woman next to him who had also asked for a straw.

Ed from Ed, Edd, and Eddy was there, talking in his pubic voice about jawbreakers and scams and all that stuff. I used to love that show when I was a kid. Shame Cartoon Network canceled it.

Sarah and I once sat down at a table on our break where we caught up on the going-ons since last we saw each other. She talked about being a cheerleader and her brother and her boyfriend. Then I dared to inquire about her face. Seeing the look she gave, I immediately rescinded my question, but she answered it anyway. She had a disease that ate her skin from the inside-out.

That’s when I woke up.

I was on some sort of field, either a soccer or football field. I’m not sure which. Probably soccer. Anyway, there was a big crowd, and a man was running toward me with a knife. He caught me, cut my right ear off, and then slit my belly, disemboweling me. I blacked out after that. When I came to, I was on my parents’ couch, holding my intestines in my hands. I got up from the couch, feeling like a disemboweled person who’s had their right ear cut off, and carefully walked to the kitchen, calling for my parents. For some reason they, or anyone else, hadn’t thought to take me to the hospital or something. I laid my burdensome intestines on the glass table while I pleaded with my parents to take me to the hospital. They agreed. I was worried that my SO (Significant Other, for those of you who are less knowledgeable of abbreviations) would think I was dead or something, so I started crafting a text message to him, but I was interrupted by my parents who were dragging me to the car, suddenly worried about my health. I continued writing the text message while they were driving, but never sent it for some reason. My parents were talking about what hospital they were going to take me to, and my mom said something like “We’re not taking you to Wesley, we’re taking you to a real hospital.” Apparently she was still upset about her recent stint at Wesley, where she received subpar treatment or something. They told me they were taking me to an Oklahoma hospital, and they kept driving. We arrived at a gigantic, deserted parking lot in front of gigantic, foreboding gates. We got out of the car and walked to the gates with me dragging my intestines (I feel I need to emphasize the intestine-dragging), and entered the gates into what appeared to be some sort of pagoda city; the things were everywhere. A path wound through this bizarre architectural hell which we started down. All around us people were milling about, apparently with nothing better to do. I overheard some of them conversing (yes, it’s conversing, Mr. Ens) about me. “Did you hear about what happened to Alex?” “Yeah, I heard he’s dead or somewhat.” “I’s a shame, that.” None of them seemed to notice that I was right fucking there. You’d think they’d notice someone with a missing ear, dragging his intestines around. When we reached the end of the path, we found ourselves being dwarfed by an immense pagoda palace thingy with stairs leading to the top where a throne stood, and on that throne, I shit you not, sat Pamela Anderson. At this point I was wondering why the hell we were here. We ascended the stairs and Pamela greeted us with extended arms, marveling that I was alive, and asked how I was. I told her, “Well, my guts are hanging out and I’m missing an ear, but yeah I feel O.K.” My parents asked her which hospital they should take me to, and she never really gave a clear answer. We left after awhile and got back in the car. My parents started arguing about something and that’s when I woke up.

I can’t remember most of what came before this, but oh well. I was in a building that looked somewhat like my high school, only there were no windows and few doors. It was just a hallway basically. Apparently it was under control by Nazis. We were in one of the hallways, sitting on the floor, and the Nazis told us to put all our money into jars. The people around me kept calling the money (which looked remarkably similar to dollars) crackers. I said, “Wait, aren’t they called Krakows?” Nobody paid attention to me. The lead Nazi man then told us to take off our clothes and run to the next hallway, but nobody actually took off all their clothes. I took off my pants but had trouble taking off one of my shirts (I had two) so I was running after the other people trying desperately to get this shirt off. I suppose the lead Nazi man didn’t like that as he ran after me yelling. There was a door near me and I figured “Why be killed by him when I could try to escape?” so I ran out the door and instantly heard the sound of turrets firing. I ran back inside, scared, and the Nazi man shot me twice in the arm. I faltered back against the wall and that’s when I woke up.

Dreamed about blue monsters with bulbous, disfigured heads. Tried to kill them with my sword, but their skin was too thick. Then there were these little, gold coins I could collect, presumably to unlock new characters, costumes, and other stuff. And you know that stupid fairy thing that followed Zelda around all the time? I had to be that to fight more big, blue monsters. I was pwned. And then I was transported to a McDonald’s from Hell. First, when I asked for my order, they said they were out and gave me three sandwiches. After arguing with them vehemently, the woman at the counter said they’d think about it and told me to go to the back of the line. So in the line I was behind this big, bald biker dude who kinda looked like a neo-nazi. I accidentally treaded on his withered jeans. He challenged me to a duel or something and we were teleported to this dark, desert-like place and had an epic battle. We fought with these wolf-like creatures. I can’t remember who won. I presume it was me, as I was back at the McDonald’s in the back of the line. I woke up just before I reached the front.

So me and my friend were kidnapped by a rapist dude with long blond hair and he took us to a hotel room and tied us to the bed. Then he went to the bathroom and my mom came in the room, so I told her the guy in the bathroom was a rapist and she pulls off her belt and runs into the bathroom screaming. So the rapist knocks her out, but my friend who’s tied up next to me managed to break his bonds and runs for the door and the rapist runs after him and my friend gets in a motorcycle and the rapist gets in his jeep to chase after him. Meanwhile my bonds were magically broken so I ran to the bathroom to wake my mom up and she says something about being tired then she says we have to find my father so my father walks through the door wearing a leather jacket and carrying a shotgun so we get in another jeep and follow my friend’s directions because he had been sending me text messages about where be was and sent me a picture message showing where he was now and for some reason the messages cost 8 dollars. So we go to where he is and he’s nowhere in sight but the rapist has somehow turned himself into a snake so we’re looking for him. The place is like a grassy field with a really dilapidated barnyard in it. So it’s all suspensefull because we don’t know where the snake is and then the snake lunges at my dad while he’s carrying the shotgun and bites the barrel but my dad fumbles and drops it so I pick it up and blow the snakes brains out and that’s when I woke up.